Thursday, February 28, 2008

Hebrews 10:24

This morning I was sitting in bed. It was about 5am and I was reading my Bible when Hebrews 10:24 caught my eye. It was one of those moments where if I had a light bulb over my head it would have exploded from all the energy.

I remembered a post on Deleise’s (She has awesome recipes, great kid stories and awesome opinions about Our Heavenly Father) Blog about a bible study she was doing where you read the Bible “until God speaks to you, then stop and spend time figuring out what it means to you” .

God not only Spoke to me, He yelled, Hebrews 10:24. Here it is in 6 different translations.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. - NIV

Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, -The Message

and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, -NASB

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. –NLT

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, -NKJV

Let us help each other to love others and to do good. –New Life Version

The basic gist is that we need to:
Spur One Another On
Stir Up
Help Each Other

So that we can all Love and do Good TOGETHER.

We aren’t alone in our service with our Heavenly Father. We are suppose to be TOGETHER with each other.

I hate to admit it but as Deleise stated in her blog, "stop and spend time figuring out what it means to you”, I found myself lacking and self absorbed.

When was last time I motivated, encouraged or spurred another on?

When was the last time you did? How did you motivate the person? OR Did they motivate you?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Randy Pausch's Last Lecture

If you have about 10 minutes please watch this. This man has some great outlooks.

JOY - What are you feeling today?

I am full of joy today! I woke up singing! It is a glorious day and it is suppose to be warm. I am happy.

Have you noticed that when you are happy that people always want to know “Why are you so happy?” Doesn’t that seem like a weird question? I think that it is amazing that a lot of people will question why you are happy before they will question why you are grumpy, tired or mad.

I was talking to a friend this morning and she asked me “What are you so happy about?” The only response that I had was “I don’t need a reason to be happy, I need a reason to not be happy.” As you may have read in previous posts, I probably have a good reason to not be happy. But I wake up in the morning and make the choice to be happy. Yes, it is a conscious choice. It has to be or the enemy will get a foothold on my emotions and I will sink into depths of despair. Please don’t think me perfect. I have days where I climb on my pity pot and I am quite comfortable on it. But thankfully the Lord knocks me off it and reminds me that I could have been born a woman in Iraq. Man all of a sudden life is great!

So here are some verses for today

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. - Psalm 28:7

Shout with joy to God, all the earth! –Psalm 66:1

But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. –Psalm 68:3

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. –Psalm 90:14

"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets -Luke 6:23

I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. -John 15:11

And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. –Acts 13:52

Be joyful always; -1 Thessalonians 5:16

Here is a definition of Joy

Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.

Have you felt JOY lately? I am rejoicing that I didn’t have to choose it today…It was just there in me when I woke up.

Love to all and God Bless!

Monday, February 25, 2008

My Health Journey - Part 2

All was good until August 21, 2007....... That was were I ended last time with the continuing story of my health.

After a long discussion of weighing the pros and cons, Craig and I decided that I could quit my job in May, stay home with the kids all summer and then look for part-time work when they went back to school. I was so excited. I have worked since I was 13. I have never been off for more than 3 months at a time. After I had had Hope I was only off 3 weeks and then I was hauling her into my office. So this was exciting for me. My kids at the time were 14 and 12. I was looking forward to doing things with them.

On August 21,2007 I got up and my face felt funny. It is kind of hard to explain but the entire right side of my face was numb. It felt like the tingling you get in your hand when it is asleep without the pins and needles or like Novocain had been shot into my head without the heavy feeling you get. It was really strange. I had total movement, no sagging so it wasn’t Bell’s Palsy.

I also had no medical insurance so I really couldn’t afford the doctor. Medical Insurance really hadn’t been an option at my job so I had no COBRA benefits. My kids are covered through and awesome program called Healthy Families and my husband is covered through the VA. I just prayed that it would go away and not get worse. It didn’t and it did get worse.

I started feeling fatigued in September. It was so hard to do anything anymore. I would get up at 8 and be back in bed at 10:30. Not just laying there reading either but sound asleep. I have never ever been that way.

Through my seven months of double vision I had created friendships with my doctors. So I called one of them up and talk about what I had been experiencing and he wanted to “unofficially” see me. He called another one of my doctors and that one also wanted to see me “unofficially”. At that point they both recommended that I get medical insurance fast and get to a doctor “officially”. They both feel that an MS diagnosis will be the eventual outcome.

This is where I can really show you how awesome our Heavenly Father is. I am friends with my old boss at the job that I left in May. During the summer we would see each other for lunch and emailed all the time. In October my replacement was terminated. My boss called me up offered me my job back at part-time hours with fully paid medical benefits. Five months to the day that I left I returned to my job. Part of my quitting my job in May was due to being bored and not wanting to work full-time. And here the Lord had restored my position with a company I love, given me medical insurance and allowed me to work part-time.

Our Father is awesome. He gives us what we need when we need it. I am at peace with whatever comes of this medical condition. It won’t define me. It will be one small component of who I am. I would still love tons of prayer, advice, opinions, and again more prayer.

I will update as I know more. I go to a specialist on the 10th of March. Thank you all for caring.

Friday, February 22, 2008

My Health Journey - Part 1

Thank you all so much for your prayers, support, and very kind words. It is nice to be a part of this blogging community. I know I am new to it but I am enjoying you all. I felt that since you are all praying for my healing that I would share what this health journey has been. It is a little long but I think I can cover it in 2 parts. I hope that you hang in there because I would like all of your opinions and offers of advice.

On August 17, 2005 I woke up with double vision. Not just blurry but truly double vision. It wasn't to bad when I was looking at something cool like a hot fudge sundae but a dirty bathroom was horrible. And Yes I can hear you all singing Foreigner's Double Vision. I had no headache just double vision. After I had been experiencing it for about 3 days, I figured that it wasn't an after effect of the wine I had drank and decided to see my doctor. She ran tests, found nothing so she referred me to an eye specialist. Dr. Fox, the specialist, diligently ran every test he could think of. Did you know that they do angeo of the eye? He even sent me in for an MRI. Everything came back fine. No medical explanation for my double vision. That is when they sent me to Stanford University. Yep I got to go to the big wigs. The Director of Neuro-Opthmology examined me and called the Head of Neurology in and they took pictures and then proceeded to tell me that I had this horrible disease. It has a huge name but basically the outcome would be that my eyes would eventually freeze into place and I would have no movement. They sent me back to Redding and told me to come back in 3 months for a progress evalutation. Good News was that I wouldn't lose my vision, Bad News I could pass it down to my daughter. I remember crying my eyes out the entire way home, 4 hours of tears at what I was going to be giving my Daughter.

Upon returning home I continued to see my Eye Guy aka Dr. Fox. He requested another MRI, which again showed nothing. (I knew my head was empty :) ) With those findings or lack of findings, he sent me to a local neurologist that just scratched his head. He tested me for a few nasty diseases. Thankfully I had none of them. Three months flew by and I went back to Stanford. They talked to me for 10 minutes had nothing new to share with me and told me to come back in 3 months. As Craig, my husband, and I walked out of the exam room I told him I wasn't coming back. I had had enough. I was tired of being a guinea pig and not getting answers.

So I came home yet again. Climbed off my pity pot. Got online and shopped for some eye patches. I got some really pretty ones, even one with Pooh on it. Craig put electrical tape on the inside of one side of my sunglasses so that I could drive. I relearned my depth preception and away I went. I have always been very independent and during this time I really had to rely on others to help me. I always thought of the double vision as God's way to teach me humility, His way to make me ask for help.

Well 7 months after it all started, I woke up one morning and it was gone. I was so happy I cried and I praised my Heavenly Father and basically did a really embarrassing happy dance. I went in and saw my Eye Guy and Neurologist and they both had no clue what had happened to make it go away. But they also both said that they felt it was an "exasperation", my first episode of MS. I didn't claim it, think about it, or accept it. I went back to life with no electrical tape on my glasses, happily.

All was good until August 21, 2007.......

I will cover that in Part 2. Sorry for how long it is. I will be surprised if anybody gets this far but it feels awesome to just get it out.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Kids Listen?

This is a text message that I got from my beautiful daughter Hope yesterday. It broke my heart.

"Mom u no wat scares me the most! Wel u always say u feel bad wel i am scared that u wil always feel bad and never get better. And i wont hav my fun, loving, healthy mommy. It makes me worry bout u!"

I can't tell her that I will be healthy again but I don't want to tell her I won't. Instead I told her that the Doctors are trying to figure out why I am so tired all the time and that no matter what happens I Love Her. Hope, in all of her 12 year old wisdom, looked at me and said "Well Mom it is like you always say, It is God's will not yours."

It was kind of nice to know that she listens to me sometimes. :) Kids really are a blessing and gift from our Heavenly Father.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


He was torn. He wanted to come and hear the results but also felt the need to work and support the family. They offered to come with me too but It is only test results, they shouldn't miss work because of me. I am a strong, independant woman. I am the one they always come to for support and help. I shouldn't put them out.

I get here early. I sit in the car and cry to you, Oh Lord. My heart is hammering in my chest and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour. I pray for the Doctor. I pray for her to have wisdom and insight. I pray for the strength to keep it together, not to make a fool of myself in there. I pray for your peace to wash over me no matter what the results.

I go up the elevator, 3rd floor. I walk down the hall. I open the door. I am the only on in the waiting room. I sign in and sit down to wait. The nurse comes out with a file and calls a name. It is my name. OK Lord here we go. What do you have instore for me. The nurse takes me to my room, takes my vitals, asks questions, then tells me that the Doctor will be right in.

I am sitting on the paper covered table. Alone, I wanted it that way, right? Then I feel you. Then I hear you. You are right there on the table with me, holding my hand, whispering in my ear...Come to You, You will carry my Burdens, You are with me.

I still have no real answers. I am still off to the specialist. I still must find my peace in my situation. Tomorrow will be better.

Thank you Heavenly Father for Loving me and being sooo faithful. You were there today, you held me together, your strength is what shined through. I will continue to find my rest in you.

Big Prayers Please.

Today I need big prayers for me, the doctors and my family and friends. I am praying for some answers to how I feel, I am praying for the Doctors to have wisdom, I am praying for strength to accept His will. Thanks All.

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
- Isaiah 43:2-3

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Concert Update

I had an awesome night!

Matthew West didn't play nearly long enough. He has an awesome story about healing. He got the crowd warmed up. He was the only one on stage so it was fun when he "Introduced" the band.

Toby Mac came out and explained the way that Jeremy Camp and him decided who was going to play first. Jeremy wanted arm wrestling, Toby said No. Toby wanted basketball, Jeremy said No. So that left flipping a coin. Jeremy lost.

Jeremy Camp came out and sang his heart out. I have seen him 3 other times in the last year and he has been awesome each time. He spoke about missing his wife (Adie-who is an amazing singer) and girls while on the road, about his first wife, Melissa, who went home to the Lord. I would recommend seeing him in any setting you can for any price. He is an amazing follower of Jesus. He pulls out his Bible right on stage and reads scripture to you. He speaks of his stuggles and his triumphs and he praises the Lord with all that he is.

Then came Toby. Have you ever been to a concert where the stage guards probably don't know what is coming, they are just doing a job. Well I wish that I could have taken a picture when TobyMac and his crew started playing. They hit it hard and it was awesome. The entire entourage is high energy, bouncing around and just amazing in their worship of the Lord. There is no doubt in anybodys mind that they are there for Jesus. They hit it hard and they hit it dead on. He actually came down into the audience and sang to the crowd. Here again another awesome entertainer that pulled out his Bible and read scripture to us. Then broke out in song that captured the youngest to my old age of almost 40 staight to the heart of what Jesus is. They finished the night with Made To Love You, Burn For You and Jesus Freak.

All in all it was an absolutely Awesome concert. What a blessing they have received from God. Even if their music isn't your style you have to applaud them for capturing the hearts of youth.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

One of My Favorite Things---Concerts!!!

Have you all gotten those emails from your friends that want you to answer 20 questions about yourself?

Recently I received one that was a little bit different. It was 12 questions. Here is the twist, I was suppose to fill it out about the person that sent it to me. This to me was fun. So I answered the questions about the sender. I also sent a blank one to a group of friends.

When the reponses started coming in they all had the same answer to #6, What is one of my favorite things?, CONCERTS!!! I loved that people who had known me 30 years or 1 year knew me well enough to know that about me.

So I am departing tomorrow. I am on my way to fulfilling another one of my dreams. TOBY MAC IN CONCERT!!!!! He is being joined by Matthew West and my all time fav...Jeremy Camp!

I will be extremely tired Tuesday but oh how worth it it will be!!

What is your #6? Please tell me some of your favorite things.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Peace = ?

Peace = Quiet
Peace = Calm
Peace = Serenity
Peace = Acceptance

These are a few of the things that Peace mean to me.

The Lord showed me Psalm 34:12-14 about 5 years ago. At the time I had been praying for safety from bad influences in the workplace, healing for my husband, strength to continue to support my family. Those verses offered me great comfort at the time. They still do. I would have to say that if you carry a motto around this would be mine.

Peace to me has become a goal at all times. Peace with my family, my situation and my future. When hard things hit as well as exciting times I seek my peace. It isn't always easy to find peace. It can be really elusive. I know that the enemy doesn't want you to locate it. It takes away his power.

I am in the process of being diagnosised with what they think is MS. My friends and family are really upset about it. Please don't get me wrong, I am not elated by it either. But God has once again put my "Motto" to work in me. I am at peace with it. I am calm, quiet, accepting and have found some serenity with it.

What does Peace mean to you? Have you found yours yet?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

How Did You Find Us? Part 1

I am so excited. I have gotten 2 comments. Both from awesome blogging women. Thank you both for stopping by.

I was asked "How Did You Find Us?" That is a loaded question with a couple of answers. So I will break it up into 2 parts. 1 being the actual clicking route that got me to you and the 2 will be the emotional place that I was at when I started my blogging obession. I assume that it was just a matter of time before I couldn't help myself, I wasn't sure if I would ever post a blog and now I have planned out two. :)

The clicking path that I took to find most of my blog roll started one morning at church. While waiting for the service to start, on the announcement screens, there it was, an invitation to visit our Pastors blog. ( As I will explain in the second part....I had some down time & enjoy reading so I visited his blog. Well then it all started to spiral. I love everyones Love Links. I started exploring his. I noticed that our Worship Pastor had a blog. So I went and read and I noticed a Mad Church Disease banner but didn't click it. From his Links I clicked on a guy that runs a really awesome restaurant here (Moonstone Bistro, Redding, CA) he also had the same MCD banner. At this point my curiosity is peaked. So I clicked it and found Anne Jackson, that was some awesome reading.

I figured Anne's Love Links had to go to great places because she was awesome, so... Yep you guessed it...I clicked and clicked and clicked. First I found Little Bits of Life, which lead me to Cindy Beall's Blog, where you can guess that I not only started clicking her Love Links but started to see alot of the same names on all the lists.

Part of the fun of reading blogs is reading the comments by others. Over a little time I started piecing commenters to there blogs. So in a nutshell that is how I found you all.

It is amazing to read all of your blogs. They lift me up, make me realize that some of my struggles aren't mine alone and they strangely make me feel comforted. Funny how people that live so far away, that I will probably never meet can help without even knowing it. God has truly blessed you all and I thank every single one of you for posting, posting, posting!