My Dad - Part 2

Then he pulled out a joint and lit it and handed it to me. This was how the first real meeting with my dad went…..

When we got to his house there was a girl there. She was 20 at the time. This girl turned out to be my half sister. That was a little interesting. I had heard rumors that she existed but it had never been confirmed.

My dad and I instantly were close. It was like the biggest missing piece of my puzzle had been found. He had invited my grandmother, great grandmother and my uncle to come for a BBQ. It was so interesting to see all of these people that I had known all my life in the same place as my dad. It was also evident that my sister felt like an outsider. She was still pretty much a stranger to these people and here I walk in and it is hugs and loves and normal.

My dad was a wanderer. He loved to “go for drives”. He also used drugs a lot. He smoked a lot of pot and did a lot of cocaine. When I was with him I used a lot too. I had been smoking pot since I was 13 and I had even done LSD a couple of times. My dad, sister and I would go all over and get wasted and have a blast.

There are three incidents that I remember clearly.

The first one, I was 16 and it was the last time I ever did LSD. My father, sister and I were at Disneyland. I ended up dancing down Main Street with Donald Duck in a parade. I remember looking over and seeing my dad and sister just laughing. I’m not sure how I ended up in the parade but apparently I was good.

The second was my 17th birthday. Dad had asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted to try mushrooms, the hallucination type. So we got a hotel room and dad, my sister and I did mushrooms. We laughed so hard for so long that the next day my abs hurt from all the laughing.

The third thing that I remember is this guy showed up at my dad’s door with a big brown grocery bag full of cocaine. We stayed up for 3 days straight. I was 17.

I could list many more times we partied but I really just wanted to give you a couple of examples of the lifestyle that I was exposed to when I was with my dad.

I visited my dad all the time. He lived about 3 hours away. One time there was some sexual abuse when I was at his house. I am not 100% certain what happened but just know that something did. I would have to say that the only time that I ever lost control of what was going on in my life was when I would be at his house. It was almost my escape from the constant demands of life with my mom.

When I was 18 my Dad and I went on a road trip for 6 weeks. We traveled through Texas and down into Mexico. We also headed north to Yellowstone. This was an amazing time with my dad. We were so compatible. We were so close.

When I was 19 he was on a trip and he ended up getting arrested on the Mexican side of the border and went to prison in Mexico.

To be continued…..

This part of my story is really hard for me to verbalize. I am not looking for sympathy. It feels good to get it out. I have a deep love for my father that is unexplainable. As I continue with the story of my father please don't judge him. I think he did the best that he knew. He didn't have a clue about being a father he only knew how to try and be a friend.