My Mom - Part 3

My mom injured her ankle while chasing an inmate. She went on a medical leave. They came back and rated her ankle as unable to do the required functions of her job. I was 17. So she retired from the county collected her PERS and decided that she wanted to go to Australia.

We planned her trip. She was going to be gone for 6 weeks. I got to stay at the apartment alone and she left me her car. I started working when I was 13 so by this time I was pretty much capable of supporting myself. Those 6 weeks were awesome.

My mom is a pack rat. I was raised with 2 feet of clutter on every surface imaginable. She didn’t and still doesn’t believe that dishes need to be done until every fork in the house is dirty. That works out to be about every 3 weeks. She has tons of forks. So when she left on her trip. I spent 2 days cleaning the apartment. I literally donated 15 huge black garbage bags of stuff to the Salvation Army. I also threw away 20 bags of trash.

When she got back in town. She laid her suitcase in the middle of the living room floor and there it stayed for weeks. It was at this point that I decided to move out. Two of my girlfriends and I got a really nice condo. My mom was devastated that I wasn’t living with her anymore.

Basically for the next 3 years I lived my life separate from her. We would have the occasional dinner out. She really loved her independence. She had never had it. She went from living with my grandparents to living with my dad to living with me. This was the first time in her life that she had been alone. I must admit that I too was enjoying my independence. I didn’t have to worry about her bills just mine. It was a great relief.

When I turned 21 I decided that I wanted to leave Santa Cruz. I decided to go to Reno. This was in October 1989. In August of 1990 my mom followed me. I had control of a stash of her money that she received when she retired because I didn’t want her to blow through it and have nothing. When she came to Reno I found her a nice doublewide mobile home in a good park and paid cash for it.

She needed financial assistance and asked me to come and be her roommate. I decided that I would live with her temporarily. It was a hard adjustment for me because she immediately assumed that I would jump right back into my role of caretaker. Instead I had established my lifestyle and taking care of my capable mother wasn’t in my plans. I figured moving in and paying most of the bills was enough.

Craig asked me to marry him. We went and told my mom. Her reaction was tears. She said “Who is going to take care of me now?” I assume that I must have enabled her for her to feel that way. I really hadn’t expected her to beg me not to get married. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Craig. It was that she didn’t want me to leave her.

Craig and I married in July of 1991.

To be continued……………………….